Ever since a very young age, I have been interested in trying to find a way to communicate the sheer “unlikeliness” of “this right now” and what I see as “the triple miracle”: that this even exists at all, that this miraculousness of life can be expressed from one person to another and that this miraculousness of life can actually be overlooked and ignored! For me at the time, the only “sensible” response to life and condition to be in was one of continual astonishment or surprise and I was baffled at why both myself and others were not living more from this basic position. What is quite clear is that this mystery is not moving closer or further away and is never going to be in any way understood or demystified.
When I was very young, let’s say between six and ten years of age, I had an intuitive grasp of the truth of things that was utterly familiar and unspecial, yet somehow secret. These intuitions were always very clear and indisputable and coexisted with everyday life casting a special light over everything when they came. I use the word “intuition” to mean a kind of complete and self-evident certainty coming directly out of my own intimate experience. This natural clarity seemed to be a direct response to the vastness of life and my enduring wish was to be able to constantly speak from this vantage point.
All that remained at that young age was for me to get completely lost, which I did…….a life long game of hide and seek that continues now ever more transparently. And now, these little passages are just meant as lighthearted attempts at describing the way I see things.